Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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