I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
