Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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