So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
