i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
