I can text with my tongue
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
