you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
