I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
