The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
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just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
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You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.