Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"? http://tfl.nu/cjp8
  Replies (7) Good night (987) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me http://tfl.nu/rey7
  Replies (22) Good night (6671) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents. http://tfl.nu/6leg
  Replies (33) Good night (10817) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him. http://tfl.nu/54ly
  Replies (7) Good night (3763) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany. http://tfl.nu/1100
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (1968)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool" http://tfl.nu/agbu
  Replies (4) Good night (2141) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge. http://tfl.nu/yr6w
  Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (1527)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  What kind of balloon animal was it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor. (1-503): What kind of balloon animal was it? http://tfl.nu/lyo1
  Replies (12) Good night (1954) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body" http://tfl.nu/dnkv
  Replies (8) Good night (1910) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there. http://tfl.nu/rrty
  Replies (1) Good night (966) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades. http://tfl.nu/v1fc
  Replies (18) Good night (1137) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire... http://tfl.nu/8q2n
  Replies (4) Good night (804) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode" http://tfl.nu/uekw
  Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  How high are you exactly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis (828): How high are you exactly http://tfl.nu/wb80
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (126)

Randomize