I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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