I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Pants are for mortals
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