My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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