i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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