I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
