About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
