Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
