Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
