Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
