I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
