She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
