I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
