i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize