I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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