the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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