You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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