His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
