Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
