My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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