The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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