he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
