I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
