There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
