That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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