ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
did i walk over a car last night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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