RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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