did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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