WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I came so hard my ears popped.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
