what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
