Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
