just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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