I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
