id be glad to
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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