i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
