Whod you bang
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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