brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
