oh god the rape fog is back!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
