last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
