she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
