Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
