If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
