Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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