I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
