even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
