Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
