I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
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fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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