well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
