I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
