My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
