im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my being single is dangerous.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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