i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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