i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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