so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
