I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
