Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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