I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
