I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
