Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
