We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize