yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
